I haven't been on here in quite a while now, SD33 has not made contact with me since she and DH had a falling out over 2 years ago. Just a tiny bit of history...she was living with us when my mother died and she never showed for the funeral, we came home and found her sleeping in my house,her excuse was that I ignored her the night my mom died(not true, but I was not the best hostess!!) she tried everything she could think of to stop the wedding,was mean to my kids 11 and 12 at the time, we had issues but I always forgave..she got pregnant 11 years ago and her mother threw her out, I(not her dad)took her in, she is now married and had another child. We were cordial to each other up until the issue with her father. Somehow, what transpired between them became MY fault. It's on a previous blog entry.
Anyway, fast forward and I have still sent the grandchildren birthday gifts, Christmas gifts, talk on the phone when DH calls them, etc. THere was a birthday party for the younger one this past winter, SD made a facebook event and made it a point to invite everyone she knew, except me and my grown children. We had a snowstorm on that day and the party was cancelled anyway.I still made sure he got his gift though.
My Dad was very sick and was in the hospital dying. I was medical power of attorney and had to make all decisions. I was there night and day, even slept there. My Dad died a horrible, painful death that I will never forget. I see it every time I close my eyes. During this time SD had another baby. On one of my trios home to take a shower, I stopped quickly in the store and bought baby gifts...she will have no contact with me but readily accepts my gifts, they are for the children so I continue to do it.
DH goes up to see the baby and tells her that my Dad is dying. No response. Her selfishness is what started the problem with them in the first place. Anyway, again, they are a no show for Dad's funeral, I didn't expect them anyway, she had a small baby...but, and here is where maybe I am stupid or whatever, but I did expect maybe a card, email, facebook message, something...even for her Dad's sake as he was very close to my father.
What he did get on his facebook page was this, 2 days after I buried my Dad:
Jada Pinkett Smith?s open letter to a friend is very powerful! If you?re in a blended family or considering it, this is a must read.
A letter to a friend:
Blended families are NEVER easy, but here?s why I don?t have a lot of sympathy for your situation because? we CHOOSE them. When I married Will, I knew Trey was part of the package?Period! If I didn?t want that?I needed to marry someone else. Then I learned if I am going to love Trey?I had to learn to love the most important person in the world to him?his mother. And the two of us may not have always LIKED each other? but we have learned to LOVE each other.
I can?t support any actions that keep a man from his children of a previous marriage. These are the situations that separate the women from the girls. Your behavior is that of an insecure child who needs to recognize her own weaknesses that MUST be strengthened to take on the task at hand. We can?t say we love our man and then come in between him and his children. THAT?S selfishness?NOT love. WOMAN UP? I?ve been there?I know. My blended family made me a giant? Taught me so much about love, commitment and it has been the biggest ego death to date. It?s time you let your blended family make you the giant you truly are.
J
First of all, I have NEVER kept him from his family...not even when it meant leaving me home to go to her kid's parties and spend the day with his Ex and her family!!!!! He is an adult who makes his own decisions. Then I guess since he didn't respond, a few days later a package shows up in the mail, pics of her kids, still not a peep about my Dad...more fb nonsense...
I still have no intention of contacting her, it's been a peaceful 2 and a half years...but what do you think of all this that seems to have started only since my Dad passed??? In all this time, she has never mailed pics or anything and never posted anything on his fb page.
Source: http://www.steptalk.org/node/161922
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